Tommy, great job with the attention grabber at the beginning of the pitch. You put the audience in the refugees shoes, allowing the audience to be empathetic as they listen to the rest of your pitch. I also really like your idea of allowing refugees to continue on with their lives, getting whatever help is required exclusively for their needs.
Hello Tommy, I really like your idea. Your elevator pitch can use some work though. For the next one try and memorize your speech so you can keep constant eye contact with the audience. Also, do it indoors. I noticed that you were getting distracted by noises outside. Lastly, I recommend wearing more professional attire than just a t-shirt. Good luck on the next one!
Tommy, great job with the attention grabber at the beginning of the pitch. You put the audience in the refugees shoes, allowing the audience to be empathetic as they listen to the rest of your pitch. I also really like your idea of allowing refugees to continue on with their lives, getting whatever help is required exclusively for their needs.
ReplyDeleteHello Tommy,
ReplyDeleteI really like your idea. Your elevator pitch can use some work though. For the next one try and memorize your speech so you can keep constant eye contact with the audience. Also, do it indoors. I noticed that you were getting distracted by noises outside. Lastly, I recommend wearing more professional attire than just a t-shirt. Good luck on the next one!